Perhaps you are familiar with Ruth Graham’s book, In Every Pew sit a damaged Heart. You might be quick to nod in affirmation thinking, I have frequently worshiped v a broken heart among a congregation and friends who room unaware of my hurts and also circumstances, for one reason or another. However, it may surprise friend to establish the broken or discouraged love of a brother or sister might be your minister or his wife.

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My husband has actually served in ministry prior to and also all throughout our dating and married years. Because that the last fifteen years, we have actually served together in a grasp of churches under differing roles and also responsibilities. Us have delighted in sweet time serving with fellow staff and also lay leaders and also the clearly shows fruit of readjusted lives. Various other times, we have actually served together those who, it seemed, regarded us as the adversary or a stumbling block come the way they envisioned ministry must be lugged out.


We encountered a situation like that in among the first churches we offered in. The many active pair in the youth ministry was additionally the many vocal couple in opposition to the direction mine husband was taking the students. It appeared no issue what that did, this couple wasn’t pleased and wanted to let everyone know. Month after we left that church, the husband became the youth pastor. That is tough to you re welcome someone who desires your job and also thinks they can do it better.

I deserve to tell you the there is much that your pastor and also his mam will most likely never phone call you as a congregation and also maybe also most of you one on one. Ministry have the right to be a lonely and complicated profession. As soon as relationships fail within the staff or the church, we frequently have to endure silently. To air our damages would reason disunity; when to job-related through them v a couple of trusted friends, or together a couple, would save the better church body pain and division.

Here are 5 things your pastor and also his mam aren’t informing you, and also 5 means you can pray for them.


1. We space susceptible come loneliness.

Many contributing components lead to this. Full ministry schedules room one. The view that the pastor is constantly in a teaching duty is another. Additionally, there is the misconception the pastors space closer come God than various other Christians and therefore, don’t require relationships. Not true! every Christ follower has the same amount of accessibility to God v Christ Jesus, and we are each referred to as to gather together. We need to be connected in a little group routinely for edification, accountability, and encouragement indigenous God’s Word.

2. We aren’t connection experts.

Simply because we understand the Bible and study the scriptures, doesn’t median we haven’t been hurt in relationships v family, friends, or congregants. Jesus told united state to be one together He and the Father are one. That’s what renders it for this reason very difficult when relationships fail in ~ the human body of Christ. Once brothers and also sisters nothing treat one one more as they desire to it is in treated, that is painful. I’ve burned my very own tears and also brought lull to others who have actually borne the brunt of an individual attacks over distinctions of opinions in ministry. The is painful and can feeling isolating.

3. Your encourage goes a long way because we room insecure at time too.

It may seem the your pastor and his wife room confident, accomplished leaders, and for the matter, castle may very well be. However, every one of us second-guess ourselves. We all fight to occupational as unto the Lord and also not think about what others will certainly say. We all realize that there space smarter, an ext eloquent communicators and leaders, yet Jesus has dubbed us to this place and also this place for together a time together this. Your encouragement might be Jesus whispering needed affirmation or a fashionable testimony that He knows, the sees, and He cares. It might be simply what your pastor needs to listen to push on.

4. It deserve to be hard to ask because that help.

A pastor and also his wife are an ext likely to sell you assistance than to request your help. However, this doesn’t median they don’t require help. Plenty of families room serving in communities in which they have actually no or restricted family to depend on and celebrate with. Not everyone is going come be best friends or near friends to their pastor’s family. However, reaching out and also offering help to family members with childcare, happen a meal, or inviting lock to your home deserve to mean so lot – specifically for the younger couples in ministry. That is really hard because that young moms come balance the home while she husband is away at a youth camp, a mission trip, or maintain conferences.

5. Sundays can be stressful.

While Sunday is a family members day because that most, that is a ministry day for her pastor. This means that his household – especially his wife and children – must operate through the expertise that it is among dad’s workdays. That takes time and experience to learn just how to view and behave v Sunday as a workday. Because that both introverted and extroverted couples in ministry, detect a healthy and balanced balance in between private time and also public set is a balancing act.

In light of this inside track to her pastor and pastor’s wife, right here are 5 ways come pray for the pastors and their families within her church:


1. Pray for your pastor’s marital relationship to be strengthened and to it is in a snapshot of the gospel to the congregation and also community.

2. Pray for her pastor and also his wife to own a servant’s love of transparent humanity, genuine humility, and absolute honesty.3. Pray for sincere, safe, and edifying friendships for your pastor and his wife. Pray that they will certainly run and also not prosper weary.

4. Pray because that unity within your church staff and also congregation. Pray that criticism would be constructive and not devastating to your pastor and his family.

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5. Pray for your pastor to hear and obey the Lord’s call and direction for her church. Pray because that each pastor and also the respective ministries over which castle preside; the they would submit to, and plainly heed, the direction the the holy Spirit. 

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Brooke Cooney is a pastor"s wife, mom of two, and also foster-mom that one. To capture the eternal in the everyday, she blogs around family, faith, and also lessons along the trip at ThisTemporaryHome.com.