Here are two an individual visions the hell: a room to fill with limitless cheeseburgers, yet my mouth is sewn shut, and also a room complete of unlimited ice-cold beers, yet I am there is no an opener. Ns haven"t found a solution to the mouth-sewn-shut thing yet, however the latter"s top top lock. Below are nine methods to open a beer bottle as soon as an opener isn"t available (using your teeth is certainly not one of them).

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In any group of people, there"s typically at the very least one human who smokes, loves candles, is planning insurance fraud, or is a simply a textbook pyromaniac.


Flip your lighter (standard Bic functions great) upside down so the butt-end is encountering up Wrap your hand tightly roughly the bottle neck use your index finger"s knuckle together a fulcrum, wedge the lighter between it and the underside that the party cap, and use the same motion as a continuous bottle opener Rejoice!

You need a book -- paperback -- that"s not as thick together Infinite Jest, but stop a little much more literary fortitude than the Halo novelization we supplied above. I imply Nabokov"s early on works.


This one"s easy! simply wedge the book between the knuckle of your index finger (like with the lighter!), use it as a fulcrum, and also jack that puppy loose. Rejoice!

That piece that is in many indoor door frames is referred to as the win PLATE, i beg your pardon is embarrassing due to the fact that I"ve been calling that a "lock hole" my totality life. Because that shame.


take your bottle cap, and also hook it on the strike plate (man that"s a cool word) seize the bottle with two hands to secure it Yank down as hard as girlfriend possibly can Rejoice!

This is certainly what Jony Ive had actually in mind. This fulcrum an approach is a small harder 보다 most, since the charger is so small. This way you don"t have much torque. And also that"s almost always a bad thing.


placed the dull side between the knuckle on her index finger and also the underside of the bottle cap use the palm that your other hand to give a forceful, downward press -- organize tight, this one slips easily Rejoice!

What kind of place has spoons, but not bottle openers?! Some world need to get their priorities straight.


This one is super easy and also may it is in the ideal option top top this list Basically, usage the spoon just like a bottle opener -- upper and lower reversal it spoon-side up, and also wedge that under the party cap traction up Rejoice!

If you must sneak some beers in ~ a non-beer-friendly workplace, take the likely red stapler native the catacombs of her beige cubicle and get all set to party! Again, this is a fairly complicated one.

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Remove any kind of staples, if you value your staples The easiest way is to take the top corner of your stapler to the underside the the bottle cap -- but you may need to upper and lower reversal it about a couple of times and find the fit the is right for your specific stapler Again, use your table of contents finger"s knuckle together a fulcrum Rejoice!
uncover a sturdy table the no one yes, really cares about that much (it can get sort of messed up) take it the underside of your party cap, and put it versus the table edge use the butt of her hand to smash that cap Rejoice!
BE cautious DON"T SUE us THIS IS DANGEROUS simply put the machete flush versus the party neck, and also slash up, blade-first. The top have to pop off. REJOICE!
Grab 2 beer bottles grasp the neck that one bottle Flip the bottle you AREN"T opening upside down Wedge the underside the the 2 bottles making use of your index finger"s knuckle as a fulcrum keep a firm grip, so both bottles don"t open, and also tear it turn off Rejoice!

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Wil Fulton is a staff writer because that lasignoralaura.com. He really loves that machete! monitor him: