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You are watching: How to stimulate clitoris during sex


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For as lengthy as science has actually been mindful of the clitoris, it has actually been the topic of much scrutiny, confusion, and also dismissal.


The Greeks appeared to gain the hype, as the word for the female organ originates from the Greek kleitoris, which has been analyzed as both “little hill” and also “to rub.” yet that doesn’t even start to sheathe the sweetheart trove the nerves, blood vessels, and, in turn, the potential mind-blowing pleasure the it uses — appropriate at ours fingertips.


And the pleasure part is key. Casey Tanner, certified sex therapist and an experienced for sex toy agency LELO, which freshly partnered v BlackBook top top the book A Woman's appropriate To Pleasure, defines that the clitoris is the only genital body organ that functions solely for sex-related satisfaction as opposed to reproduction. “The clitoris has 8,000 nerve end in the reminder alone,” she notes. “That’s double as many as the penis, and also yet the clitoris often gets only fifty percent of the attention, if that.”


It’s no wonder that, according to a research of end a thousands women released in the Journal the Sex & Marital Therapy, 37% reported clitoral stimulation was important for orgasm during intercourse, and second 36% suggested that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, your orgasms feel far better if your clitoris is stimulated throughout intercourse. And also while you might think the clitoral and vaginal orgasms as two various things, us now understand that what many of united state think that the clitoris is actually just the external tip that the iceberg — the clitoris continues inside of the body, too. “Even quality orgasms space dependent top top the clitoris, i beg your pardon is much bigger than that is visible guideline such the it have the right to be stimulated internally through penetration,” states Tanner.


No doubt that’s a situation for learning much more ways to reap the ultimate pleasure spot. Here, the best ways to stimulate the clitoris ~ above your very own or through a partner, follow to Tanner and also other sex experts.


Those very same 8,000 nerve endings median that the clitoris is sensitive in the finest way, but sometimes friction have the right to increase sensitivity come the allude of discomfort or pain — particularly when the clitoris is aroused, which professionals will describe as erect (yep, same as a penis), says Tanner. And although your vaginal tunnel is qualified of producing its very own lube when you’re rotate on, the clitoris is not.


For the reason, Tanner says it’s an important to introduce a lubricant come stave turn off chafing and also dryness. She recommends beginning with a water-based lubricant (like LELO’s an individual Moisturizer, $25 for 5 fl. Oz.). “It uses herbal ingredients, is pH well balanced to stop infection, and also safe because that use through toys,” states Tanner. “A little goes a long way, therefore massage a few drops ~ above the clitoris and add as needed.”


If you’re brand-new to clitoral stimulation, Tanner provides the complying with tips for acquiring acquainted through your clit.


Be mindful. Try explorative touch through the optional enhancement of a hand-held mirror. “Every clit is different, so an alert the anatomy the yours,” she notes. “Where is it in relation to your labia? How huge or tiny is it? Take note of the clitoral hood, the tiny fold that skin the surrounds the head of the clitoris. No have to judge or label – merely notice.” after ~ all, the an ext familiar you become, the much easier it will certainly be to locate throughout solo play, she points out.


Start through a super slow, tenderness touch. “Even prior to you touch, friend can provide the vulva a small hug,” advises Amy Baldwin, sex educator and also co-host the the Shameless Sex Podcast. “Cup the vulva with your well-lubed hand, and let the hang the end there for this reason the skin temperatures deserve to acclimate to one another.”


Try different patterns. “Use her index and also middle finger to massage the head in small, one motions,” advises Tanner, that adds that you might likewise enjoy rubbing the exact same fingers back and forth just slightly throughout your clitoris in small, directly lines, note the distinction in sensation.


Other motions to consider, follow to Baldwin: kneading, pinching, swirling, stroking, tugging, and also tapping on and all roughly the clitoris, consisting of the labia.


Use differing pressures. “Experiment with pressing down harder as your massage, finding an intensity that feels stimulating without resulting in discomfort,” says Tanner.


When it pertains to the amount of pressure you could prefer, think about that the main variable in the sensitivity of her clitoris is the size of your clitoral hood. “The anatomical identical to the foreskin on a penis, the hood is the little fold that skin the surrounds the head that the clitoris to defend its breakable tissue from friction,” explains Tanner. “When the clitoris becomes erect, the clitoral hood retracts to disclose the sensitive tissue to pleasurable sensations. Folks with a larger clitoral hood, and also thus much more protection, may be able to tolerate an ext direct and intense touch. World with a thinner or smaller hood may discover that they reap a lighter touch.”


And if you happen to have a bigger clitoral hood, girlfriend can additionally manually retract the by acquisition your table of contents finger and pulling upwards slightly on the skin above your clitoris, she recommends. Then, using your fingers or a vibrator, you’ll an alert the enhanced sensitivity come touch.


Be indirect. “If these choices are feeling too sensitive, shot massaging your clitoris indirectly, through your labia,” notes Tanner. “Use your fingers to move your labial wrinkle over her clitoris, and then shot the same methods again. If these options aren’t stimulating enough, use a vibrator come up the intensity.”


You can also simply invest time massaging the outer locations of the vulva, including the labia majora and minora and also opening that the vagina where the clitoral anatomy attaches internally, recommends Shannon Chavez, Psy.D., a psychologist and also sex therapist in Los Angeles.


If you’re partnered: The same techniques described over can be supplied by who else throughout partnered sex, either v a partner’s fingers or tongue, note Tanner. “Use directive language, such as ‘a little softer’ or ‘a small to her right,’” she suggests. “If you’re comfortable law so, relocate their hand to find your clit, or display them wherein it is making use of your own hand.  present these tasks by letting your partner recognize that you’re learning much more about what provides you feeling good, and you desire them to be part of that.”


Try layering. “When play solo, shot massaging her clitoris indirectly, v your labia, to regulate for the sensitivity of her clitoris,” proposal Tanner. “This technique involves making use of your finger to relocate your labial crease over her clitoris before applying pressure.”


Experiment v “broadening.” In order to check out what various surface areas feel favor on your clitoris, you deserve to move far from using just two fingers and shot using the surface of her palm instead.

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If you’re partnered: “When choosing a position, think about angling you yourself such the each thrust or hand activity will additionally hit rhythmically versus your clitoris,” advises Tanner.  “For example, ask your companion to lie on their back while you straddle them sit on top.  rather than moving vertically — up and also down — angle her body forward at about 45 degrees, letting your clitoris rub versus the tower of their prick or strap-on.” Another option: “Choose positions such as doggie style, wherein you or your partner have actually a complimentary hand that deserve to stimulate the clitoris through fingers or toys during penetration,” she says.