Comedic monologue indigenous the playGoodbye CharlesBy Gabriel Davis(Monologist stand in former of her soon to it is in ex-husband)I ate them. That’s right. I ate the divorce papers, Charles. I ate them v ketchup. And they were good...goooood. You most likely want me to gain serious around our divorce. The point is you always called our marriage a joke. Therefore let’s use logic here: If A us never had actually a serious marital relationship then B we can’t have actually a severe divorce. No. We can’t. The totality thing’s a farce, Charles – a farce that tastes an excellent with ketchup.I mean, wasn’t it last week, her dad asked you the factor you walked down that aisle with me, and you stated “for the exercise.” Ha, ha. That’s funny. You’re a funny guy, Charles. I’m laughing, not a crying. Ha, ha. I’m laughing since you’re about to offer up ~ above a woman that is infinitely lovable.For instance: Paul. He has loved me since the eighth grade. Sure, he’s a tiny creepy, yet he reeeeally loves me. He’s do one hundreds twenty seven passes in ~ me, suggest forty 7 times, and also sent me over 2 hundred original love sonnets. He sees other in me, Charles. And also he writes that down, in metered verse!And that’s not something you just discover everyday. Someone that really loves everything around who you room as a person. Paul may be insane, but I worth his feelings because that me.I would never ask that to authorize his name to a item of document promising to just turn turn off his feelings because that me forever. However that’s what you’re asking me to do, because that you. To authorize away my appropriate the sweet voice Charles, those infant brown eyes, the way your hand feel with my hair before bed...Those aren’t points I want to lose. In fact, ns won’t shed them. Ns won’t lose you. I’ll woo you. I’ve written you a sonnet. “Shall i compare thee to a summer’s day. Thou art an ext lovely and more temperate, turbulent winds execute shake the darling sprout of may and...” I’m no crying. I’m laughing. It’s every a huge joke. It’s an extremely funny, Charles. I store waiting for you come say “April Fools.” then I’ll rush right into your arms and... Yet you’re no going to, are you? No. Of food not. It’s no April.I, i didn’t really compose that sonnet, girlfriend know. Paul did.

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Ns think it’s good.You see, the truth...the truth is, Charles, ns ate the divorce papers, i ate them, due to the fact that I can’t stomach the believed of shedding you. ---End of Monologue---TheI Ate the Divorce Papersmonologue is indigenous the playGoodbye Charles.​View more Female Monologues indigenous Plays.View monologues that room 2 Minutes and also Under.